By PRA Dave Tolmach
Tell me if this sounds familiar. You reached out to tons of research groups, labs and potential mentors and received nothing but “nos”, or worse yet, no reply at all. You think to yourself, “They did not even give me a chance before I started” or, “I am not cut out for research”. Well, a rejection does not mean you are not cut out for research—in fact it’s a vital part of the experience. Before joining my current lab at UConn in the Physiology and Neurobiology department, I had tons of rejections and I definitely felt those same feelings of inferiority and hopelessness. So, how do you deal with rejection? Here are some tips I learned along the way and advice I wish I had when I started.
1) It’s not you, it’s normal.
Rejection is a normal part of the research experience. Unfortunately, it is not often discussed. I learned early on that if you want to enter research, you need thick skin. What I did not realize, however, was just how many students are also looking for research opportunities. PIs (principal investigators—i.e., lab directors or research group leaders) may hear from numerous students interested in joining their groups, yet only have room for one or two. Sometimes, they may not have room for anyone at all.
That means a rejection—or even no response—does not necessarily say anything about your potential as a researcher. The lab may simply be full, the PI may not have the time or funding to take on another student, or another student may have reached out at the right time. To a degree, it is a numbers game. So, apply broadly and don’t let one “no” stop you from looking for your “yes.”
2) Change the “strat”
Sometimes when really smart, dedicated folks focus on a particular task for too long— tunnel vision sets in. After a while, you are so focused on the task in front of you that you do not stop to think, “Is this the best way to get a position?”
Perhaps if you have sent fifteen emails to different professors or research teams and heard no response, rethink reaching out to the sixteenth. Take a moment to reflect. Are your emails lab specific— personalized to the lab’s topic of inquiry? Is the email long? Did you think about adding your CV? It is important for me to make it clear that I have made all of these mistakes (and more). The point of the reflection is not to shame yourself. The point is to figure out how you can stand out and effectively convey why you are the person for the position.
3) Let it sting. Do not let it define you.
In talking with professors, postdocs, teaching assistants, and others, I have learned that everyone gets frustrated and upset when they do not get the grant or position they applied for. The one thing that all of their stories have in common is the way that they deal with disappointment. They do not let it define them. They give themselves some time to feel disappointed (10 minutes was the most common answer, for some reason), and then they get right back up and try again.
This is a key lesson to have in research. Sometimes surveys are flawed, experiments fail, mistakes are made. Perseverance is key to a fruitful career, so any rejections you get now— as upsetting as they are— are a lesson for your future.
4) You do not have to go through it alone. Ask for help!
Sometimes it is worth having another person review your outreach attempts— they can point out where you can improve. I would recommend chatting with someone who went through this experience. Do you have a friend in a lab or research group? Do they have advice? Perhaps it is worth a visit to the Office of Undergraduate Research to chat with one of our friendly Peer Research Ambassadors. All of us have experience, in one way or another, with being rejected, and we love helping (I mean it).
5) Rejection means you are ahead!
One of the most insightful tips was given by one of my role models, here at UConn. Dr. Wells was my physics professor, and I still frequently bump into him around campus. Over time, I have come to look up to him greatly and have learned so much from our conversations. During one of our chats he said to me that “The more you apply, the more rejections you will receive. Since you are receiving rejections, you are already ahead of the game”. I love this outlook on things and frequently tell students this quote.
Last thoughts…
I don’t look back at those rejections and wish they hadn’t happened. Eventually, I got the opportunity I had been looking for, and the process taught me lessons that I still use in research today. So let the rejection sting, learn what you can from it, and keep going. You don’t need every lab to say yes. You just need one, so keep going!
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