By Stephanie Schofield, Peer Research Ambassador
As a child, I grew up listening to the story of “The Tortoise and the Hare,” in which a stealthy Hare mocks a Tortoise for thinking they could beat the Hare in a race. Yet, the Hare becomes so burnt out that he falls asleep mid-race, and the Tortoise ultimately wins.
We are all greedy for experiences, one way or another, our “race” being what dreams we hold for after completing our degrees. Some of us, stressing over the 7% acceptance rates of medical, dental, or genetic counseling programs, feel an anxious drive to pile on as many extracurriculars as we can. If you’re anything like me, you sometimes have compulsive desires to take on extra commitments that will make you more “competitive” to jobs or graduate schools. Some of us are so nervous about not getting into our dream job or graduate school that we frantically join every relevant club, research project, or job that we can to beat the increasing competitiveness of the post-college world.
If you’re also like me, you may sometimes feel so incredibly stressed out by all your to-do’s that you lie in bed spending hours on end escaping your worries by scrolling through TikTok. And when your worries return even more intensely after you force yourself out of bed, sometimes you just can’t focus on the task at hand, building it up in your head and thus contributing to the not-so-fun anxiety cycle all over again.
Even as I write this, I too struggle with some of my post-college decisions as I embark on the final year of being “protected” by my undergraduate studies. What do I do after I graduate? What comes next? I use the word “protected” in the context of my undergraduate degree, because of the many wonderful things my degree has provided me, it has given me the promise of stability for four years. I knew that from 2019-2023, I would be in school, and my only job was to make the absolute most of it that I could. Yet, as I stare May 2023 in the face, I have a mixture of excitement and fear, knowing that my “stability” of knowing what comes next, ends for me. For me, at least, nothing is certain about what will happen in the years following. I may be in graduate school, I may be working, I may be abroad, the opportunities are endless. The fear of “what if I don’t get into graduate school on the first try” is real. What if I don’t have a smooth transition to my next step? The unknowns of what comes next are what scare me the most sometimes. Yet, instead of fearing these unknowns, I am proactively viewing them in a different light – instead, what exciting adventures await me when I leave UConn at the end of the year?
We sometimes tend to focus so much on our end goals that we lose sight of the experiences that lie before we reach those goals.
In some senses, I’ve felt that it can be frowned upon to take a gap year to see the world or to immerse yourself in an experience that might be totally unrelated to what you are pursuing. Take me, for example – most see me as a super scholarly person with solely a love of research, education, and genetic counseling. Yet, as a fun fact, I am a huge fan of medieval history, and I fell in love with European history and architecture back in 2019 when I went on my first trip abroad. To bring this full circle, I just recently applied to be able to do research in Germany after I graduate during a gap year.
Exciting, right? Loads of historical castles, plenty of beautiful scenery, what more could one wish for? Though, I’ll be honest, despite this being a dream and a bucket list goal, there was a twinge of fear that still overtakes me.
Simultaneously, the graduate school of my dreams just opened applications for their first cohort. Do I apply this year despite saying I am taking a gap? What if I go to Germany and then I can’t get into grad school for years when I return? What do I do?
The unknowns of the future are so scary, but why do they need to be scary in the first place? You have one life to live, so live it well and live every day like it is your last on Earth. Now, this is much easier said than done, and no, I am not encouraging you to drop your academics and run away to travel the world. But sometimes, we get so tangled in our end goal and so wrapped up in who else is competing against us that we lose track of the here and now. For me, I am trying to be better at being okay with taking time to explore not only the world a bit, but also my intended career. This semester alone, I was finally able to balance my schedule by getting involved with various foundations and clubs that collectively ask for smaller commitments. I finally have the time to read a book or watch TV if I’d like to, and yet, knowing that I do these things for myself makes it easier to push past the potential guilt of not doing work 24/7.
I wrote this entry not only as advice to my fellow undergraduates, but also for a reminder of thought processes I need to follow myself. Last year, I wrote an additional blog on mental health, where I discussed how over-committing myself led me to face immense burnout that has continued to impact me. Writing this blog post, months following my first mental health blog post, I want to also remind you that change, especially within yourself and your habits takes time. My tendency to over-commit or allow my stress to drive my decisions is not gone, nor do I expect it to ever go away. Yet, I can proudly say that I have taken baby steps towards being better about some of my unhealthy over-commitment habits and am beginning to put myself first, before my fear of a 7% acceptance rate.
So, be like the tortoise! Stay cool, stay motivated, and most of all, take it all step by step. Slow and steady wins the race!
Stephanie is a senior majoring in Molecular & Cell Biology and minoring in Psychological Sciences. Click here to learn more about Stephanie.